4 years ago this past Sunday, since I laid the bottle down in exchange for my life. In exchange for my crown. Jesus lifted me from the mire, took away my darkest desires.
My very broken wings, could not even muster a flutter. I was beaten down, by the tonic that absorbed into every crevass of my body.
My spirit, mind, and body dead. I drinked to live, and lived to drink. I often wonder with how close I was to the Lord how I let it consume me?
Feed the flesh, and flesh wants more. Lost like a whore. Dark was all I could taste and see. No longer me. I had no plea, it was all about me!
Danced with the devil, and before I knew it he became my dance partner. Twirling me with what seemed the most melodic poise. White noise! Our steps so perfectly insync. I did not even blink. I was not scared, I was lost. Sinking sand!
Booze to numb and dumb, and to take away my pain. Yet I had nothing to gain. My skin rippled, and churned for when I could grab my next beer. Coat my throat, and deaden my heart. My world lost color, and was painted black. Pitch stained soul. Shacked up with alcohol. Snuggled it close, a love affair like no other.
So 4 years ago this past Sunday I prayed a prayer that changed my life. In a instant Jesus took my barren soul, and made me whole again. He lifted my chin, and bound satans hands. Kept him far away for I was a very vulnerable newly sober in Christ me. He heard my plea. He healed me, and He gave me reason outside the tear stained bottle. No more full throttle.
The last 4 years are more than just a celebration, I have been set free. My wings soar, and I don’t hide in polishing of a bottle. I lift my head, and my hands in gratefullness. Grace was poured out on me. My chains were broke, and I have been set free.
Barely surviving is no longer my purpose. I am now used to living above the surface. As Jesus walked on water in rescue of me. He heard my plea.
I left the bottle at the baggage claim, and it had no name to be retrieved by me. 4 years ago the door was sealed to the room with shards of glass, that sliced me beyond recognition. Poured my blood, and ruined my life. Now I sit with a sober heart, and Jesus gave back my life. Took away the night. Healed my wounds, and stopped the bleed.
Renewed lost relationships, for His grace dripped from every heart. I was given a brand new start. Clarity, and beauty in this life, only because He loves me just that much! Grace oozes from within my skin, and may you too know this grace I speak of.
Swaddled like a baby in new birth, grace wraps me tightly and keeps me perched. I soar with what used to be very broken wings. If you listen you can even hear me sing, way above the tree tops. I can’t be stopped! New life.
He heard my plea, on bended knee.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me