A hand, the sky and a God so much bigger than I…

As I begin you will read all that exposed me, and made me look up! I looked up, and raised my hand up from the mire. I extended my hand, as my body was buried under shame, and self affliction. I looked to the heavens, and to my God who was stronger than I. My frailty was no longer a match for this world. I was crushed by the rock that was higher than I. The rock fell on me breaking my very being. I caught a glimpse of the beautiful sky, and God said, “Lisa I am here”. So here is where I began. A hand, the sky and a God so much bigger than I.

You will find many ways I express myself in my writing. Writing styles you will find here are Non-fiction Empathetic, muic, Inspirational, and Chatty too. I am not a photographer by any means, but I do share the ones that are allusive with my writing. I hope you enjoy my blog. I am an author, and am multi-faceted in my articulations of self. 

Snippets of me..Jesus set me free

Shred that picture of me locked behind my own imprisonment of self shame, for today I am not the same

A sleeper, a zombie, a ghost, death knocked on my door. For alcohol I so adored. Out for my own kill, just take away my tears with multiples in beers. No cheers, echos in darkness my own voice. My own choice, bled my own soul with no remorse

A stone cold heart, broken bruised. It was of my own choose. I held that tonic in my hand chose to not live in dry land. My most prized possesion. Drink until I heard no sound. My own hands draped in my own nape wanting my last breath

Toss that portrait of me not willing to fall onto my knees, throw it into the deepest of seas. Cast my burdens at the cross for I was so lost. Drowning in my own sewage

For I am no longer that scared little Lisa sitting in a corner dreading to be loved. For God my Father lifted my face, uncovered my veil. Swaddled me in His uncondtional love, drop of the bottle. Spilled my wounds. Covered with His blood

I sit here with snippets of who I was, and whom I am now. For this could not be for an alcoholic such as me without God I am nothing. Nothing, but here I sit the bondage broke me. Brought me to my knees. Keep that picture close at heart. Beautiful art!  The bottle no longer drawn to my lips. Just Jesus and His words, unconditonal love and grace. For now I am in seek of Jesus’s face. 

Now instead of intoxicated slurred words that once oozed like rapturous venom let from my lips drip Jesus’s word. For I am no longer a sleeper, I slept and wept long enough. Snoozed in booze, and now my soul gets to rest. My veil tossed, for at the cross, are the new snippets of me. Set free!!

 Word Prompt: Snippet

Goofy is, as goofy does. New me…

Extrovert by nature, I don’t need the bottle to articulate. I am just a happy go lucky person, and the grass is greener where I now reside. No need to hide 

Was scared to be sober. Felt booze was always in order. Needed it so I thought, I actually am better without a drop. Goofy I am, and even goofier as sober I stay

I am outgoing, and bubbly it just secretes from within naturally. God has rescued, and revived me in the clarity I have daily. I am a better person dry

I am not in need of that toxic waste, it fooled me into thinking I was better off with its vibrance seeping from within. No need to wet my soul with the bottle of old

For today is yet another day goofy, and authenticity reigns. I do not have to fake it to barely make it. I am alive, and free without that dreaded bottle to cling

Extreme has always been my person, for I am an alcoholic. We thrive off of drama, and chaotic ruins we wade in. The differance is with my Lord and Saviour, I don’t have to dwelve there 

Held captive no more, goofy is as goofy does. Laughter is my new step. I lept into the arms of my gracious Father. For there I find sobriety, one day at a time. Sober fun is easy, less dramatized too. I long since changed my shoes, and was made brand new

Bid the bottle adieu, and dry I will stay yet another day. Less complicated is this barren land. Free of muddy tear stained puddles, made by me. Thank you Jesus for setting me free!!

Free to commuicate without sloppy, slurring words. Absurdity no more. Goofy I adore! Sober is me!

Daily Word Prompt: Express

He loves a wretch like me, an alcoholic whore…He does adore!

Cloaked; wore the veil of shame, cloak and dagger was my game

A lie sat at the surface of my lips

From alcoholic poison words would drip, soothing the moisture absorbed. Absurd in my own selfish hoard

A theifl! Callous, and defeat were the shoes I wore. An alcoholic whore. For God was pushed out the door, threw away that key

There was no hide, just a scared little girl sitting in her corner. Wanting protection, yet so fearful of rejection

God was calling on me, and I pushed Him so far from my sight. I sat in the darkness in the steal of the night

Made my own bed of sin. Billows of lies. Tripped too many times on my so called life, walking a fine line

A thief! Callous was my heart. Had drinking down to an art. I was the master of my own disguise

God kept calling on me, and wanted me on bended knees. That is when I finally gave in, and put my bottle down. Traded my lies, for truth in Jesus’s word

The air is clean, and my body pure. For God’s holy water I drink from His well daily. Time has told I am 4 years old new in Him. Sober is my march. I keep my eyes fixated on the cross. For there is where I win with Him

Victory proclaimed in Jesus name, one day at a time. One more day sober, one more day his daughter. For I serve such a gracious King to love a wretch like me…

Daily Word Prompt: Cloaked

Romans 7:24

Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death?

There was no rhyme or reason for me and alcohol, death was my play…

There was no rhyme or reason to anything I did in a day nor what I would say. I was captivated by the pull of the bottle as it helped my feelings not to be at play

With each drink making all of what was MY life go away. The pull so great. Enebriate allow me to dance with the bottle day after day

I could never get my fill, I was seeking my own kill. The thrill of all the chaotic madness to sit at bay. Leave for a whole day. Play with me, drink me to sleep. Sing me a lullaby. All in my head. Drink me deaf, and dumb

Wake again to bathe it into my pores. An alcolohic insanity. Travesty awaits. Pick the bottle back up again, Lisa was ready for her game

There was no rhyme or reason I just wanted it to all go away. Who cares how you feel, I don’t feel so just leave me alone to wallow in my pity. Oh you hurt, whatever. You don’t even know my pain

Can you imagine trying to reason with a person such as who I was? Lost in the fuzz. Just let me get buzzed, and sit in my selfiness. Drunkin stupor. This was my 24/7. My mind so crazed it was my heaven

God could not touch my callsoused heart. It was an art. Wearing my mask, and hiding alcohol in my skin

Thank God for His grace and He shook me from this place. Turned my life upside down. Saved me from my drown. I was a bottom feeder before, but man did I ever hit bottom. There was nothing more to do

I desperately needed the ryhme and the reason. Tis the season for change. No more deranged. I wanted a rhythm in my heart, and needed to feel my pain. Stained as I was it was time to trade my bottle for the cross

Put it down drank the grace God poured out. Drink it daily. One day at a time. My life has been given back to me. No more trying to slit my wrists with alcoholic bent

I sit here in awe at all my Lord has done. I see the sun/son! My days are not dark, I walk in the light. Alcohols just an excuse I do not adore. Just a horror 

My hands raise up in thanks for He saved my life from my own self. All I want is His will. Praising God his mercies are new every morning. For this story God gets all the glory!  

Romans 3:24

But by the free gift of God’s grace all are put right with him through Christ Jesus, who sets them free

Word Prompt: Rhyme

Could I, should I, why not, no please stop this Lord make it go!

I did not give up or give in, I did not want that bottle parked within my skin again

I could not dwell there, what a scare. I placed my sobriety on the line 

Perched with alcohol a stalker just one step behind. Lurking where I would least expect it

Listening to the crack of a beer, my ears pierced with intrepidation. This toxic waste was not going on vacation

Fighting and trying to flee the constant madness inside my brain. Could I, should I, why not, no please stop this Lord make it go

Run and hide, and push it away. It was now a tenant within my day

There was no making drunks understand how far I had came. I was talking to the deaf, and dumb

Had to break free this cycle was wearing on me. Breaking me down, Satan wishing for my crave. I could not cave

The Lord called me back into him, protecting me yet again. Gave me strength to stand up proud. Set the boundary for sobers gate. Solid ground 

They did not understand their joy was found sitting around a table telling fables as they did not know when to stop. Everyone of them an alcoholic

God pulled me up out of that hole, made way for me to go. I gave my reasons why I had to leave it all behind to blind eyes and hearts

To my Lord who carried me through these very dark days, and turned my frown upside down. Helped me back up again. Regain my sanity

I had people praying for me, and devine interventions. The Lord made himself ever present. I could not ignore this constant tug

Now it is all behind me, the Lord sought to unbind me. Freed me from my captive state. Pouring out His grace once again

I survived this one, but not in my own strength. Had to realize I needed God to take back control. All I want is His will 

Colossions 1:13

For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves,

Word Prompt: Inhabit

New name, and Gavatar…✌

For all who keep up with me, Lisa. I will be gradually changing my blog up. 

I have a new display name it is now Lisa M. O’Day. This is my maiden name. My life has changed quite a bit, and pretty drastically. I also put a new gavatar I felt that more portrays me in this transitional period. 

I will in time change my about me as well. Just know this, I am here. Recent has been hard, but my view from here is the beauty of the cross that Jesus died on for me. I just have been transfixed there. 

His mercies are new every morning, and I am slowly gaining clarity enough to write again. I miss it. I too stepped out to work recently. I can not work I found out only 5 days later. My Epilepsy just will not allow for this at this time.

So I have been in the kiln, and just got out. Looking pretty good, and feeling even better. There is no greater work in that of our Lord when he is faithful to complete the work he started in His. This I hold to. I am His! 

Blessing all in His grace sufficient, and Uncondtional love always,

✌Lisa  

Lamentations 3:23

They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness

My clock was a little broken, and I sat unspoken. Silent and still…

My clock has been off, my feet missing the beat. The second hand fell off beneathe the glass. I could not tell the hour. The power of my will, Lord please let it die. I cried out

Walking a little out of sync, trying to find the rhythm to my rhyme

Integrating God as the cornerstone of this odd passage in my life. If I only had a dime for every time God’s will was so very different than mine

Jesus take the wheel, I don’t wish to take a spill. My life was spinning round, that clock was enough to drive me mad. That stupid second hand

I sit here in awe at the Mystery of God’s will. I was tested, proven sober. More alcohol placed in front of my face then water. The devil tryed to toy with me, and he did not succeed

An alcoholics worst night mare, my sobriety was put on the line. Beer stein shoved in my face. God poured out His grace. I walked away every time without a sip

Nipping it in the bud, back to AA and surrounding myself with good. I got a little lost. My heart took quite a push

When push came to shove Jesus as always just drenched me in His uncondtional love. No more unhealthy people, just the church and its steeple

Time I got that second hand fixed, and synchronize my life with His. It is such a cool watch, one I wished to wear. The second hand fixed, so I never miss a beat. Nor fall from my feet, seek Jesus at the cross where none gets lost or overlooked 

Sober I stand after tested relentlessly, my mind almost went mad. The struggles of an alcoholic, thank God I did not touch that poisoness tonic

Thank you Jesus for watching over me, and nudging hard my heart. For that part in my heart broken yet again. No more tail spin. With you please until the end. For this life is temporary, I don’t want to miss a single beat. For only you let me seek 

My clock was a little broken, and I have sat unspoken. Silent and still. Satan wanted His kill to no prevail

Jesus won! Check one for my savouior who brought me out of danger, did a little open heart sugery. Purging anything not of him. He wins, and I have life. I love going under the knife after hard life’s strife. Synchronized! 

Word Prompt: Synchronize

Fools Gold in that bottle I held…Personified allibies

Just a shell walking in a lifeless form, a mannequin with barely a beating heart. Flat line waiting for the paddles, nothing could rattle my covetness for my numbness slathered

Dormant my personality lied, the zeal suppressed with alcoholics hallucinate hands. Reside in my own cell, an alcoholic hell. Sit in my own sin, wallow in my trademark venom

Never could pass the test, and any zest I may have had was laid to rest. Idolized the moisture of my enbrieated state. Filled with hate 

Fools gold in that bottle I held, meld into my skin. Personfied allibi, fake beyond each disguise. Lost with each sip, lucid goes as I got hosed

Swam with the sharks. Ravenous, blood thirsty. Needed that alcohol to occupy my soul. No holes, just bury all my secrets in my skin. Soak it up, let it be my end

It was my first thought upon waking the craving pulsating, and trampling my brain. It was the last thought upon laying my drunk head into a blackout state, death hovered 

This was the alcolohic me, numb me. Take away the pain for just one more moment. I hurt so bad inside. No where for God to reside. Hibernated, and bathed myself with my poison. My soul took cover, and demons hovered. Lurking in the night, I became as dark the tonic I drank. Rank with stank

Crippled by my own hands, hardened heart. Selfish, drowning in my own spite

Feeding off the juicy lies that came as day turned into night, and night turned into day. Spiced it up, made stuff up, my life was but a lie. Hiding in my bottle, this was the alcolohic me

No more hiding, no more numbing, no more running. For Jesus salvaged the wreckage I made of my life. Gave me hope, and took away my craving. He took my heart, and transplanted it at the cross. Carved my name, where His body hang in death for me on Calvary 

Layed the bottle down, and now I am unmasked and even somewhat vulnerable. For the love, laughter, and life I have now I would never trade it for a day of desperation lost. For I was off the grid, but now am found. In Him I abound. My masks are no more, my smile is real. In Jesus was my appeal….

Word Prompt: Spicy

4 years ago, He heard my plea on bended knee…

This is what 4 years without finding solace in a bottle of possibly a friend looks like, His grace is sufficient!! 

4 years ago this past Sunday, since I laid the bottle down in exchange for my life. In exchange for my crown. Jesus lifted me from the mire, took away my darkest desires. 

My very broken wings, could not even muster a flutter. I was beaten down, by the tonic that absorbed into every crevass of my body. 

My spirit, mind, and body dead. I drinked to live, and lived to drink. I often wonder with how close I was to the Lord how I let it consume me? 

Feed the flesh, and flesh wants more. Lost like a whore. Dark was all I could taste and see. No longer me. I had no plea, it was all about me!

Danced with the devil, and before I knew it he became my dance partner. Twirling me with what seemed the most melodic poise. White noise! Our steps so perfectly insync. I did not even blink. I was not scared, I was lost. Sinking sand!

Booze to numb and dumb, and to take away my pain. Yet I had nothing to gain. My skin rippled, and churned for when I could grab my next beer. Coat my throat, and deaden my heart. My world lost color, and was painted black. Pitch stained soul. Shacked up with alcohol. Snuggled it close, a love affair like no other. 

So 4 years ago this past Sunday I prayed a prayer that changed my life. In a instant Jesus took my barren soul, and made me whole again. He lifted my chin, and bound satans hands. Kept him far away for I was a very vulnerable newly sober in Christ me. He heard my plea. He healed me, and He gave me reason outside the tear stained bottle. No more full throttle. 

The last 4 years are more than just a celebration, I have been set free. My wings soar, and I don’t hide in polishing of a bottle. I lift my head, and my hands in gratefullness. Grace was poured out on me. My chains were broke, and I have been set free.

Barely surviving is no longer my purpose. I am now used to living above the surface. As Jesus walked on water in rescue of me. He heard my plea. 

I left the bottle at the baggage claim, and it had no name to be retrieved by me. 4 years ago the door was sealed to the room with shards of glass, that sliced me beyond recognition. Poured my blood, and ruined my life. Now I sit with a sober heart, and Jesus gave back my life. Took away the night. Healed my wounds, and stopped the bleed. 

Renewed lost relationships, for His grace dripped from every heart. I was given a brand new start. Clarity, and beauty in this life, only because He loves me just that much! Grace oozes from within my skin, and may you too know this grace I speak of. 

Swaddled like a baby in new birth, grace wraps me tightly and keeps me perched. I soar with what used to be very broken wings. If you listen you can even hear me sing, way above the tree tops. I can’t be stopped! New life. 

He heard my plea, on bended knee.

Word Prompt: Carousel 

Phillipians 4:13

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me

I choose to swim…

Been going through a lot, my heart still bares threads. Torn to shreds. I start over yet, AGAIN!
I am not poor

I am not shabby

Jesus is my caddy

I am not inferior, or low quality

Jesus is superior

I can’t change the status of my life, I have a new name. Scratch wife

I am not subpar

I am not second rate

Jesus is written on my hearts slate

So when you look at my page, and see I am now Lisa M. O’Day, all is okay

I am back to write, because I know no matter the goings on in my life I am not substandard

I will rise above yet another test that God has given me, my plea is that I swim and not sink 

Hey I know I am not too shabby, just another journey to walk. Not just talk

A new road road now unfolds, imperfect yep. God makes up the difference, substandard not with Jesus as my right hand man. For with Him I will stand

Time to swim, catch my breath. Tread the water I used to sink

Watch me take flight, as Eagles soar for Jesus I adore through all the tribulations. This will not get under my skin. Sink or Swim. 

I choose swim until the very end…  

Word Prompt: Substandard