There was no rhyme or reason for me and alcohol, death was my play…

There was no rhyme or reason to anything I did in a day nor what I would say. I was captivated by the pull of the bottle as it helped my feelings not to be at play

With each drink making all of what was MY life go away. The pull so great. Enebriate allow me to dance with the bottle day after day

I could never get my fill, I was seeking my own kill. The thrill of all the chaotic madness to sit at bay. Leave for a whole day. Play with me, drink me to sleep. Sing me a lullaby. All in my head. Drink me deaf, and dumb

Wake again to bathe it into my pores. An alcolohic insanity. Travesty awaits. Pick the bottle back up again, Lisa was ready for her game

There was no rhyme or reason I just wanted it to all go away. Who cares how you feel, I don’t feel so just leave me alone to wallow in my pity. Oh you hurt, whatever. You don’t even know my pain

Can you imagine trying to reason with a person such as who I was? Lost in the fuzz. Just let me get buzzed, and sit in my selfiness. Drunkin stupor. This was my 24/7. My mind so crazed it was my heaven

God could not touch my callsoused heart. It was an art. Wearing my mask, and hiding alcohol in my skin

Thank God for His grace and He shook me from this place. Turned my life upside down. Saved me from my drown. I was a bottom feeder before, but man did I ever hit bottom. There was nothing more to do

I desperately needed the ryhme and the reason. Tis the season for change. No more deranged. I wanted a rhythm in my heart, and needed to feel my pain. Stained as I was it was time to trade my bottle for the cross

Put it down drank the grace God poured out. Drink it daily. One day at a time. My life has been given back to me. No more trying to slit my wrists with alcoholic bent

I sit here in awe at all my Lord has done. I see the sun/son! My days are not dark, I walk in the light. Alcohols just an excuse I do not adore. Just a horror 

My hands raise up in thanks for He saved my life from my own self. All I want is His will. Praising God his mercies are new every morning. For this story God gets all the glory!  

Romans 3:24

But by the free gift of God’s grace all are put right with him through Christ Jesus, who sets them free

Word Prompt: Rhyme

Advertisements

Author: Lisa O'Day, Cries from an unkempt garden

I write to tell my story of how I overcame self affliction, and great despair in this life. For I write to share the death to self that took place. That I may Glorify God in all I do. May my writings be a refelction of freedom, for I am no longer in captivity of self. May they be warm, and inviting. For I write because God has given me words that drip from my mouth to be seen.

8 thoughts on “There was no rhyme or reason for me and alcohol, death was my play…”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s