Seriously what happened to you? How long have you been playing broken beyond repair?  Your eyes are dark. You are lifeless like a mannequin. How long has it been since you have called anyone a friend 

Sinister is your stare, doom lurks over you. Your thoughts are without life. There is no color surrounding you. Given up, given in. Let Satan have the last word 

There is no swim in your sinking sand, long past your one mistake until you finish incomplete. Your bridges are burned, and ties cut. Your gut is pained with ulcers. Your heart races with compulsion. You wish it over now

Sitting one last night in shame, always placing blame. Listen to your daughters cry. You cursed her with your lack to pay. Eviction notice on its way 

When did you become helpless? When did you become so feeble minded, and lose your marbles? 

No one can make any sense of this. You are a lonely creature, death is pounding on your door. Even the score is that what you think? 

For what its worth I have long prayed for you to come around. Stop dragging people through your mud. You were once a man of noble character, now just a thud. Grave robber. God is to chose the day, and the hour

I pray God shakes you to your core wakes you from this selfish state. I can’t bear to think the play date satan is having with you. Did you invite him in for a drink or six. Wake up!

Lord shake him now, wake him for my kid’s sake. Grab his heart, and free him of his afflictions. No matter the time that has passed you will always be apart of me. 18 years if not easily dismissed

I am not hanging you out to dry, I am pleading with your broken heart to let God give you a fresh start. Give it all to him, every last reaper thought. You can laugh again. Quit bathing in your sin, lathering in the guilt, and laid quilt for your memorial, what purpose does this serve you? Get up

I have no claim on you other than that of our children. Please stop with remission know you are not beyond repair. Life has hurt us ALL very deep. God is greater than the wounds you keep, Give it all to Him 

Let God claim victory over your story, let Satan hiss away. Keep Him so at bay, by crying out in Jesus Name 

For this I pray that you find life, and life brand new. Happiness, and even a skip in your step. I have never wished you ill. For we both have suffered at our selfishness. Get up now, it is time. All it takes is looking up. Surrender 

Please just surrender

Psalm 143

Psalm 143 A psalm of David.
O LORD, hear my prayer, listen to my cry for mercy; in your faithfulness and righteousness come to my relief.
Do not bring your servant into judgment, for no one living is righteous before you.
The enemy pursues me, he crushes me to the ground; he makes me dwell in darkness like those long dead.
So my spirit grows faint within me; my heart within me is dismayed.
I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done.
I spread out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land. Selah

Author: Lisa O'Day, Cries from an unkempt garden

I write to tell my story of how I overcame self affliction, and great despair in this life. For I write to share the death to self that took place. That I may Glorify God in all I do. May my writings be a refelction of freedom, for I am no longer in captivity of self. May they be warm, and inviting. For I write because God has given me words that drip from my mouth to be seen.

3 thoughts on “Surrender”

  1. Poignant, heartfelt post Lisa. It’s true, we can’t make others want to change. They often have to hit rock bottom first, which is God’s way of providing them a rope to grab onto, to climb up towards a brighter future. I join your prayers for surrender. Thank you again. Lovely, lovely post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. This for a certain purpose. I got word of last week from one whom would be closest. That rock bottom very well just be right around the corner here. I hate to see it to have come this. Every thing in me even with all I know of this person wishes different for them. Often wondering how I can be so compassionate when this person was so very harsh with me in my life. It is just my heart, I did pray for God to do whatever with out hesitancy that was needed. So now we shall see. I pray for their heart to become soft fast. Thank you 🌸☝🙏


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