I pray for you, I pray for you, I do…

You were the catalyst that made way for my skeletol remains your hands squeezed tightly around my vocal cords

You were the one feverish to see me fall into the back of a paddy wagon chain locked and taken away for the long haul

You were the one who fueled the alcoholic in me deceived with demons lies, you are better off with this tonic. Kissing the poison into my mouth, those were the voices walking in your stead. 

You were the one whom were supposed to protect my heart, love me as Christ loved the church. Yet you perched in pause with those claws, those claws

I was purposed to be wise build upon my house. With foolish bent burnt it to a crisp. Arsen lit by gasoline soul. Burn, just burn. 

I am no victim I take my share in this, for how we came of this I still take fathom. Wine lots and lots of it. Money pits. Just a primer the liquor hot as hell pounding it down with unabating infirmary. 

We were snathed by its false pretense our hearts no longer flickered, and our love was lost in greedy slimy toxic water fed. We were led astray by lies that spoke from within the bottle. We took cover in it instead of one another. 

We were two lost souls separated by all we allowed. The world a thief in the night. Gave up, gave in. Melded our skin, gave into our flesh. 

We cast God aside traded Him for hate, violations dripped from our mouth. Alcohol was the catapult for the beginning of the loss of our vows. 

Nothing sacred, what we were is gone. I don’t cry for you anymore, I had to put you away. The malice was too much. Disfavor took up seed. I have heard the things said of me. I was your love, and lover. 18 years, gone. Childshish catatonic behaviours. 

You don’t know me anymore, and I know not of you. I promise this, I pray for you daily. For you would scoff at that. Hey I get it. I just know once was alcohol being our prison from within. Christ came, and cleaned me of my stinch. He catapulted my heart, and I am unearthed onto higher ground. Free as a bird singing in song. I long for you this freedom to. I pray for you, I do. You were the catalyst that I allowed to take my hand running in admiration of the world. I had to flee, for my life was not living. I lived in an empty shell, that was held togeher by the moisture in the bottle. 

I pray for you, I pray for you, I do.

Proverbs 14:1

The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish tears it down with her own hands.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love yours wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. 

Daily Prompt: Catapult

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Author: Lisa O'Day, Cries from an unkempt garden

I write to tell my story of how I overcame self affliction, and great despair in this life. For I write to share the death to self that took place. That I may Glorify God in all I do. May my writings be a refelction of freedom, for I am no longer in captivity of self. May they be warm, and inviting. For I write because God has given me words that drip from my mouth to be seen.

10 thoughts on “I pray for you, I pray for you, I do…”

  1. I appreciate your strength. I rejoice for your freedom. I applaud your forgiveness and continue to pray for him. Knowing him since 4th grade is a long time. Pray for your continued strength and your kids! He can make everything and anything beautiful of your life. Miriam

    Liked by 1 person

      1. They were 17, and 15 when life everything fell apart. It had been going that direction for years. I had to explain last year to my son of his dads infedelities so he could get why I fell so hard. He has seen a lot of his dad since then. Very hard things for anyone to see a parent succumb to. It has been a rough life for them. They are the victims. I pray for their healing daily.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yes, they are the victims. My daughter was emotionally controlled since elementary school age. Even to this day, she regret that a lot of decisions were not made by herself. She reacted to people with insecurity for years. She finally realized she need help to process it (I’m a counselor, I only brought to her awareness of getting help), she did go through some group counseling and did a lot of reading. Whenever I have a chance, I share with her what I went through, because she went through the same thing from her dad emotionally.

        Liked by 1 person

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