We were a sham
We were a joke
We were shambles
You sneaking into bed at 5 am undercover fast of the shameful night you had.
Me sneaking off to bed undercover of one to many drinks trying to bid you ado.
We were a mockery
We were a masquerade
We were a travesty
You with tales of your closest friends falling into aduteriated peril. Hoping they would be at loss for everything. Going to bed with your own head between your tail. Hypocrisy filled your pockets.
Me with tales to my friends telling them how happy we were, and how all our dreams in Florida were in the making. Drinking my way through each word to help it seem legit. Slit my wrists, in my choke. What a joke. I had another night to lie next you.
You in forget of your family turning off your phone. I see your wedding ring left on the bedside table. You with a drink in one hand, and bass in the other. Screeching to 90’s cover songs. Your eyes stray to the girls cleavage spilling out, as she leans in to drool over your stage presentation. Your drunk words forget your family, for a moment you are a bachelor. You seem luring, and endearing. Hush now don’t tell anyone.
Me in shut down mode tuning out the white noise. One more drink will deafen me to their calls. “Mom come play a video game with us, Dad is not going to call.” Blah, blah, me not so endearing.
Pretending at its best, we were long lost. Our marriage many years over. Forgiveness you had sought, but the lifestyle you could not drop. We were 4 in the selfish clamity of our marriage. We buried our own kids alive. For it was us that they were to survive, thrive, and find love. Covering them with gloved hands stealing the child in them. All our sins they saw with what should have been innocent eyes. Adulterated/Idolatrous were the ways we walked. In the world we had taken up stock.
Our kids they can’t breathe anymore, I will keep silent no more. I will shout it from every mountain top in hopes it echoes far, what we were was a FARCE!! We toyed with the world one too many times, made a mockery of our wedding vows.
Shake me Lord to my very core, for thee I adore. Forgive me of my ways, and in you for not fervently seeking pleasure. Make my family whole again. Forgive me of being self consumed. Keeping everything behind closed doors.
The door is wide open now, no hush here. For another day sober, and over is the FARCE! May every causality find peace, mercy, grace, and love. Even the one who stakes no claim. May that heart be broken the yoke again open. Breathe life back into my children let them not asphyxiate on our failings. Let their hearts set sail to unveil all their gifts within.
Hush no more, there is no need for silence…God is the director of this show take off your masks this is no longer a Masquerade Ball.