My son arrived here by car January 21st this year. He, and his now girlfriend made a “roadtrip;” in change of scenery/life. I was so ecstatic I could pee my pants. Florida to Washington here he came.
In the beginning of my sobriety I did attend some AA classes. I went for the stories of relationships restored. Some went only days, weeks, months, but some years. I had no idea when God had planned to restore mine. I was mostly a stay-at-home mom for years. The communication came to a halt, upon the end. Every morning I imagined them racing to the T.V in hopes for a quick video game before school, or hearing Vampire Diaries (my daughter’s favorite series at that time). The more time that passed I started to not be able to here their voices. The absence was killing me. I talked of them every day. There was no one who did not know of my Brie and Eli (Elias).
My daughter 17, and son 15 at the time of seperation. My daughter, and I have not yet made our way to a mend. I wait patiently as I know her now almost 21 self, is still learning who she is let alone sorting the other stuff. I was given a promise it will come to pass, and I hold that very close.
It felt like a lifetime had passed to my son’s arrival. We even waited to share Christmas with them. So our tree sat up a long time. They wanted to see the sights, and that they did. I have countless pictures of New Orleans, The Grand Canyon, River Walk, cool Vegan resurants in L.A., an assortment of coffee bars (The Druken Monkey) being his favorite, and more on up in Washington. He had never the privilege of a trip like this. He was a kid with a giant heart of Gold who always saw his “mommy” despite her faults. Not that we have not had to work through the hurt. He just loved me, and that was that.
My husband and I offered our home for retreat, as they would need to get versed in the area. Eli had lived here on and off throughout childhood. So it did not take long. They habitated in our basement. I enjoyed setting up a little living room area separate of a bedroom. They had their own bathroom, we only shared the kitchen. They actually found jobs sooner than expected.
The days my son was here we shared many a great time, and we laughed a lot. We played Cards Against Humanity, and tried to set our world that once was behind us. We set out for building on the new. For I was new, and so was he. He was 18, and a lot had changed.
We are so very alike in nature. We are happy go lucky people. Just making the best in what we have. Our biggest struggle was always communication. I truly belive he was scared when we did misscomninicate it would be the end. He had come from a hellish 3 years with his dad, one he will not talk of. So he has major abandonment issues. I don’t blame him. I am here to not relive the past, but in any way I can help him heal.
He is a huge music junkie, and I love music too. Our Christmas when they got here was the best. He said it was the best Christmas he could remember. He thanked me for keeping the tree up that long, stockings too. I said, “oh Eli what I wouldn’t do for you”! We saw the new Star Wars, and treated them as if they were only visiting. My husband and him grew quite the relationship. He has been a godsend.
My son is still here in the area, but they got their own place. I miss him, and he texts me in miss of me. We are reunited, and healing does come after tragic things in life.
I know when he looks at me he does not see the drunk me, he sees me now! It is day off work today, I wonder what he is doing….?
Sometimes it takes a change of scenery to get going on the right track. He is here for now, and who knows for what length. I will treasure every moment of my very sarcastically witty son being here in my life. For when I gave birth to him, he was gorgeous in sight. His heart even more gorgeous than that.
So yeah sometimes it is days, weeks, months, or years. Whatever the day or hour take it with all your might, and never again let them out of your sight.
Twas the night before our Christmas and all though the house we lay in wait for his arrival drew near…He did not come by way of deer (lol).
In close I will say, and Eli would agree this was all of God’s doing!! Nothing of me…