Twas the night before our Christmas; in January…


My son arrived here by car January 21st this year. He, and his now girlfriend made a “roadtrip;” in change of scenery/life. I was so ecstatic I could pee my pants. Florida to Washington here he came. 

In the beginning of my sobriety I did attend some AA classes. I went for the stories of relationships restored. Some went only days, weeks, months, but some years. I had no idea when God had planned to restore mine. I was mostly a stay-at-home mom for years. The communication came to a halt, upon the end. Every morning I imagined them racing to the T.V in hopes for a quick video game before school, or hearing Vampire Diaries (my daughter’s favorite series at that time).  The more time that passed I started to not be able to here their voices. The absence was killing me. I talked of them every day. There was no one who did not know of my Brie and Eli (Elias).  

My daughter 17, and son 15 at the time of seperation. My daughter, and I have not yet made our way to a mend. I wait patiently as I know her now almost 21 self, is still learning who she is let alone sorting the other stuff. I was given a promise it will come to pass, and I hold that very close. 

It felt like a lifetime had passed to my son’s arrival. We even waited to share Christmas with them. So our tree sat up a long time. They wanted to see the sights, and that they did. I have countless pictures of New Orleans, The Grand Canyon, River Walk, cool Vegan resurants in L.A., an assortment of coffee bars (The Druken Monkey) being his favorite, and more on up in Washington. He had never the privilege of a trip like this. He was a kid with a giant heart of Gold who always saw his “mommy” despite her faults. Not that we have not had to work through the hurt. He just loved me, and that was that. 

My husband and I offered our home for retreat, as they would need to get versed in the area. Eli had lived here on and off throughout childhood. So it did not take long. They habitated in our basement. I enjoyed setting up a little living room area separate of a bedroom. They had their own bathroom, we only shared the kitchen. They actually found jobs sooner than expected. 

The days my son was here we shared many a great time, and we laughed a lot. We played Cards Against Humanity, and tried to set our world that once was behind us. We set out for building on the new. For I was new, and so was he. He was 18, and a lot had changed. 

We are so very alike in nature. We are happy go lucky people. Just making the best in what we have. Our biggest struggle was always communication. I truly belive he was scared when we did misscomninicate it would be the end. He had come from a hellish 3 years with his dad, one he will not talk of. So he has major abandonment issues. I don’t blame him. I am here to not relive the past, but in any way I can help him heal. 

He is a huge music junkie, and I love music too. Our Christmas when they got here was the best. He said it was the best Christmas he could remember. He thanked me for keeping the tree up that long, stockings too. I said, “oh Eli what I wouldn’t do for you”! We saw the new Star Wars, and treated them as if they were only visiting. My husband and him grew quite the relationship. He has been a godsend. 

My son is still here in the area, but they got their own place. I miss him, and he texts me in miss of me. We are reunited, and healing does come after tragic things in life. 

I know when he looks at me he does not see the drunk me, he sees me now! It is day off work today, I wonder what he is doing….? 

Sometimes it takes a change of scenery to get going on the right track. He is here for now, and who knows for what length. I will treasure every moment of my very sarcastically witty son being here in my life. For when I gave birth to him, he was gorgeous in sight. His heart even more gorgeous than that. 

So yeah sometimes it is days, weeks, months, or years. Whatever the day or hour take it with all your might, and never again let them out of your sight. 

Twas the night before our Christmas and all though the house we lay in wait for his arrival drew near…He did not come by way of deer (lol).

In close I will say, and Eli would agree this was all of God’s doing!! Nothing of me…

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Author: Lisa O'Day, Cries from an unkempt garden

I write to tell my story of how I overcame self affliction, and great despair in this life. For I write to share the death to self that took place. That I may Glorify God in all I do. May my writings be a refelction of freedom, for I am no longer in captivity of self. May they be warm, and inviting. For I write because God has given me words that drip from my mouth to be seen.

8 thoughts on “Twas the night before our Christmas; in January…”

  1. Such a wonderful insight into your better, sober life. Thank you for sharing this with us, Lisa 🙂 – Now you need to do a summer one. Christmas was 5 months ago, crazy lady!

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    1. Ha. I was just reminiscing in my photo library in awe of all that has taken place since his arrival. He works all the time since getting his own place he is hard to come by. I have told him we need to make a date to get together. My stories are limitless on the flip side of the bottle. Been heistant at sharing those yet, as my story is still untold in its entirety of how I got here. Sometimes I need the upside too slipped in here and there. The other drains me. Lol. ✌

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  2. This is the sampling of the “good stuff” that god has blessed you with! I look forward to your posts Lisa. So much we take for granted and reading how you pour your heart out, the pain and the trials… and then the healing!!! So happy that god has tugged on your heart enough for you to share your story. He calls on us to witness to one another and in many ways you are touching people with your story that you will probably never know, but you are. Keep it up! God bless you and your family!
    Garrett

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    1. Thank you Garrett, I did not know you still were reading. It is nice to know I have friends reading a long the way. Yeah after some of the posts for my own self I needed “good stuff”. Eli is indeed that in my life. We have been reconciled. I feel his pain. I also find it ironic he is beginning his journey only 5 blocks from where I began mine. Our stories in that of what was after all the bad are so similar. He had to come to realize he needed away from his dad. He just up and left. His dad was on a plane for Spokane, and he took that as his way out of his bondage. He does not talk of it, but I know how bad it was for me. So I have an idea. I know bits, and pieces. They don’t have any contact. Eli needed to be free. Now for my daughter. I am in much prayer for her. She is really stuck. She works, pays all the bills, and the apt they live in is in her name. She has to be next. So yeah “the good stuff”…thank you for reading and taking time to comment too. Blessings to you, and yours. Lisa

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  3. I’m so happy for you and your family! Your view of your family is so precious, and your contentment in just having nearby is genuine. You’re a very understanding, patient, and love mother. I wish your family the bestest. ❤

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      1. As a kid, I only thought from my perspective. The older I get, the more I start to realize how many hardships and decisions parents have to face. You’ve put it into words on your posts what I feel about mothers. ❤

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  4. Nothing like that bond between a parent and child. I have missed my adult children as they journey outward into the world. Never knew how much I would treasure the moments I have with them now. The early twenties are often distant even without addiction. I remember how distant I was from my parents when I was that age. Your daughter will come around as promised. ❤

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