Mental Diversion Tactic

Today I write from my extrovert self. A girl whom is an outdoor enthusiast. Last year at this time I was working full time, and Mountain Biking 5 days a week, and the other 2 hiking. I even learned to Snowboard, and this girl can carve. I learned to carve on my bike, and my snowboard. Was I cool or what(or what)?. Hey I thought so. I rode with the guys…

On my Mountian Bike I found the need to push it hard for miles up mountainous terrain, just for the downhill rush. I learned to rock hop, and also what it means to crash and burn. Yet I still rode out. My motto was “ride hard or go home”! At the top of any said trail head I always stopped to take in the glorious portrait that surrounded me. The beauty in God’s creation. I have some awesome scenic photos in my photo library. 

I was an adventure junkie. On hikes it was off the beaten path, even if the compass could not give a way home. Through the thicket, and up the winding paths of woods was where my feet found treasures. On a petal, or in the wilderness my feet belonged. It was a great outlet for me. 

Since then I have been given to my Epilepsy. At this time it is uncontrolled due to the right medicince, and therapeutic dosing. I can not work, drive, and worst of all bike, or hike. I am given to seizures at any time. I am an extrovert living in an introverted world(within in the walls of my home). We got a puppy to keep me company. I find myself in conversation in my lonely days with my dog?!?! He is so cute, but come on! I try hard to busy my days, and not get down. Daydreaming of my rides, and the exhilaration that came from throwing my bike on the top of the car in find of the best trails. 

I have not given up hope that this can not still be in my future. It is just 4 medicines later, and still no respite. Each time I have a seizure it is 6 months from then that I can drive. So 6 months from 3 days ago. Yay me! 

My bike sits without its rider, and I sit alone. Most days bored out of my mind! Hey don’t get me wrong I know people have it way worse. I look at my bike with fond memories, and long for the day my helmet is worn in protection on the roads. For yes I have had to wear it on bad days in my house. Pretty cool I must say. 

I am in great anticipation  of when my neurologist gives me the thumbs up, and says “let your life resume”.For my bike is calling my name, yeah my bike talks to me. Maybe I have been in the house to long. 

“Come on me, it is time again to ride hard or go home”, said with an Epileptic drone.

Oh yeah I forgot to mention I am grateful for my life everyday! For God has me, and I am His. With that said, Epilepsy really sucks!! 

Published by

Lisa Ralph, Cries from an unkempt garden

I write to tell my story of how I overcame self affliction, and great despair in this life. For I write to share the death to self that took place. That I may Glorify God in all I do. May my writings be a refelction of freedom, for I am no longer in captivity of self. May they be warm, and inviting. For I write because God has given me words that drip from my mouth to be seen.

4 thoughts on “Mental Diversion Tactic”

    1. Wow! To think you just posted that for all to see🚽!! Holy crap, just wow! No words! I don’t know what to think of you now😱! Maybe I should wear my helmet out, or get a themed helmet. Bedazzle it, or like My Little Pony, Rainbow Brite, or something uber girly. Oh what a sight! See now here in Word Press is where I find delight. Lol!

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  1. Thank you my sweetness for sharing your experience so beautifully. Soon enough I will share mine, I am still stuck in fear to share my story. I still stuck in pain. But I guess it was that that allowed me to be rebellious and disobey all MD orders always which allowed me to live. 😘

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    1. Live life fully, and holy is my saying! For my life is that of a choice. Almost lost many a time due to pure stupidity. I am not so naive to the fact that life can be over in an instant. Fear is not a fun place to reside. I lived it myself for many a year. Still suffer from panic attacks. I honestly just believe my nervous system is shot, been around the block one too many times. Now with the tools I have I am helping my 18 year old son come to terms with his life. Helping him heal. We all have our things. Being in this world is difficult, but there is beauty in the difficulty. Keep on keeping on, and I know you will be sharing your story before you even thought💗

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